You are currently browsing the monthly archive for September 2006.
This is dedicated to all of those men, women and dog who despite being brain annihilated if they catch contact with me, still took risks and showed guts by socializing with a corrupted man(myself)…I’m gonna miss ya’ll (especially my classmates, CAT Officers, teachers and everyone else who thinks they’re cool….)
My hands are trembling,
and my eyes are on fire…
This house is crumbling,
left brain, left out, on the wire…
You make me happy,
you magnify my better half,
you make me certain,
though all I have today is your photograph…
My past is perilous,
but each scar I bear sings…
Monuments to where I have been
and melodies to where I am going…
When will I see you again?
Still-life can only go so far.
I need you in front of me
saying my name,
saying to me…
“I choose the way you are,
you, the way you are”…
COLLEGE SUCKS!!!!!!
A wise man once said that “Friendship lasts forever.” But what happened to the so called “super friends” (God bless ‘em)??? A couple of days ago they were giggling and having fun in each others arms… But look at them now; they’re killing the crap out of each other. I know that they have their own opinion about their situation but why can’t they accept other people’s judgement??? C’mon duddetes, is that how a modernize monkeys (sorry for the term) act??? Try to sit down and talk about your point of view like you’re civilized beings, for GOD’S SAKES!!!! Stay calm and talk to each other after all, even enemies show respect. Whatever they do, they can’t deny that deep inside they’re hurting…Communication is the solution…But Hey!!! Who am I to mingle with your personal lives??? The last assessment will still be theirs to choose…Just remember, Regrets are always waiting for you to commit mistakes so better watch your backs, man….
Falling from the top floor your lungs fill like parachutes windows go rushing by. People inside,
dressed for the funeral in black and white. These ties strangle our necks, hanging in the closet, found in the cubicle; without a name, just numbers, on the resume stored in the mainframe, marked for delete. Please take these hands throw them in the river, wash away the things theynever held, please take these hands, throw me in the river, don’t let me drown before the workday ends.
7 to 4
And we’re up to our necks, drowning in the seconds, ingesting the morning commute. Lost in a dead subway sleep we will not lie awake in our parent’s beds, tossing and turning. Tomorrow we’ll get up, drive to work, single file with everyday, it’s like the last. Waiting for the life to start, is it always just ahead of the curve?
Just keep making copies, of copies, of copies…
when will it end?
It’ll never end, til it gets so bad. That the ink fills in our fingerprints
and the silhouette of your own face becomes the black cloud of war
and even in our dreams we’re so afraid the way we’ll offset who we are
all those breaths that you took have now been canceled in your lungs.
Last night my teeth fell out like ivory typewriter keys
and all the monuments and skyscrapers burned down and filled the sea. Save our ship
the anchor is part of the desk. We can’t cut free; the water is flooding the decks
the memos sent through the currents computers spark like flares. I can see them.
They don’t touch me, touch me. Please someone, teach me how to swim. Please, don’t let me drown…Until you give me your hands…
I’m bored…I couldn’t help but wonder, why my life is full of dullness??? I’m *yawn* starting to feel very crappy right now. No, not because I haven’t bathed yet or anything, but I’m feeling crappy today because my life is sooooooooooooo darn samey. I wish I’m with someone who can accompany me with my lacklustre life. *sigh* I wish that a police officer would arrest me for illegal exposure of myself. Darn it!!! WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT???? *sigh* I sure stink… ok… I’m taking a bath…..
This industry (the only industry that SUCKS!!!) is squeezing me tighter and tighter every second I hang on to it. It has given me a “multiple choice” kindda situation, though it has only to options. First, let me specify the enquiry. The question is: Whom will I choose???Is it???
A. The person that loves me
or
B. The person that loves me
The answer: Letter C. I don’t have a freakin idea….Because of my uncertainty, I have decided to consult Rich “THE GREAT POCHIE” Festejo knowing that she can help me untie these tangles. But my intuition did not serve me well. Unfortunately, Pochie was not able to aid my misfortune (but thanks anyway. You’re a great friend). She did not seem to know what actions will I take in order to solve this baffling quiz of life… I’m afraid to choose the wrong letter… I’m afraid to be broken up again… I’m afraid to loose a comrade…Must I review my lessons??? But I haven’t written any notes…I’m procrastinating again… The deadline is next month… Still, I haven’t decided who will I choose… Life had given me another quandary, but only this time, it’s much harder…
Know things look all lovely
holding back now and forever sweetheart…
Its midnight and Ill deny,
but you were walking so peculiar like you had something to hide…
There’s a penance for this sound and a warning,
it might explode in your hands I had your voice on
tape in a southern ascent screaming at me…
I was only one and we weren’t prepared for one so we
started saving him before breathing… I was watching
rose give in and that when I started savoring sound
and bordered in a brown pigmentation, were the element
lines fell short turned in and stopped… I was watching
rose severing the ties between mother and son,
I once saw many place you promised to world and
a dozen roses…
Keep the noise low. She doesn’t wanna blow it. Shaking head to toe while your left hand does “the show me around.” Quickens your heartbeat. It beats me straight into the ground. You don’t recover from a night like this. A victim, still lying in bed, completely motionless. A hand moves in the dark to a zipper. Hear a boy bracing tight against sheets barely whisper, “This is so messed up.” Upon arrival the guests had all stared. Dripping wet and clearly depressed, he’d headed straight for the stairs. No longer cool, but a boy in a stitch, unprepared for a life full of lies and failing relationships. Up the stairs: the station where the act becomes the art of growing up. He keeps his hands low. He doesn’t wanna blow it. He’s wet from head to toe and his eyes give her the up and the down. His stomach turns and he thinks of throwing up. But the body on the bed beckons forward and he starts growing up. The fever, the focus. The reasons that I had to believe you weren’t too hard to sell. Die young and save yourself. The tickle, the taste of… It used to be the reason I breathed but now it’s choking me up. Die young and save yourself. She hits the lights. This doesn’t seem quite fair. Despite everything he learned from his friends, he doesn’t feel so prepared. She’s breathing quiet and smooth. He’s gasping for air. “This is the first and last time,” he says. She fakes a smile and presses her hips into his. He keeps his hands pinned down at his sides. He’s holding back from telling her exactly what it really feels like. He is the lamb, she is the slaughter. She’s moving way too fast and all he wanted was to hold her. Nothing that he tells her is really having an effect. He whispers that he loves her, but she’s probably only looking for… Up the stairs: the station where the act becomes the art of growing up.So much more than he could ever give. A life free of lies and a meaningful relationship. He keeps his hands pinned down at his sides. He waits for it to end and for the aching in his guts to subside……And the glory fades……
Lesson for today: Never ever try to take pictures with your friends while you’re inside a moving vehicle because sooner or later you’ll just throw yourself high up in the air like a helpless rag doll And eventually your feet will accidentally be stuck in a side chair thingy… Dane had learned her fair share of lesson…After almost being a paralyzed, limp bizkit girl, the concerned cosmic citizens inside the bus (Her classmates, and that includes me) managed to get her out of that freakin side chair…I can feel her pain.. Every groan, whinge and whimper causes my heart to crack…Her voice cuts my veins until it can’t bleed no more…My psyche can’t take to hear a girl (especially the ones who is very dear to me) cry…But at least she was taken out of the chair at one piece…I hope she recover soon…trust me, she will never again attempt to take pictures or even stand while she is inside a moving carousel…
Well now, speakin of learning a valuable lesson…I know a wasted boy who despite falling in love and being dumped by a girl, who was engaged in another relationship, still persuades his intentions. Let’s name my dim-witted friend “Tsssiiilll”. For the 2nd time, he proclaimed that he had finally found the girl of his dreams but unfortunately for the 2nd time, that particular girl is…well…how can I say this???…that girl is occupied, or should I say “taken”. Three cheers for you and for your sweet serenading, Tsssiiilll!!!! You have proven to me that the word “STUPID” is a multi-defined word, and can be universally applied to somebody like….YOU!!!
siedehlitnuniagayrclliwayrepdiputsroop
Whew!!! Total Emo brain annihilation (spoken with a “bad” English accent)… Picture this out!!! An angel loves a homoerotic dancing m*ther f*cker…But the homoerotic m*ther f*cker, being in a sexual frenzied state upon seeing a gorgeous new bamboozle, doesn’t notice the poignant angel… Got that!!!??? Good…I leave it up to you…Make your own version out of it… Well anyway, enough about the seraphim, let’s make things a little messed up, shall we??? I’ll start of with a little dose of emotional stream line, and then add a pinch of exasperating self hate…mix this up and what have we got??? TADA!!!! A fruit salad made out of horse shit…..Wait a minute…Salads can’t be composed of a suitable amount of horse manure…nah!!! Forget about it!!! I don’t eat salad anyway… so better shut-up and wait for the fate Nathan will give me….
Fifteen minutes to six and fourteen floors to go….Thirteen suited strangers makes the crowded elevator slow….And I’ve got a million words and phrases on the tip of my tongue, for the only non stranger next to me soon, she’ll know… so let them stare…If I cry think of what you’ll be and how much you will how, I feel me to spill…Let all of it out right now as and expose every inch in front of them….A twelve more floors, your eyes and mine all I need to come clean, or should I wait for the lobby, spare the lies…
Some 26 nervous eyes argue by the little red numbers passing by…If I wait one minute longer, I think I will die…
Die!!! It isn’t fair…If I cry think of what you’ll be and how much you will how I feel me to spill…Let all of it out right now as and expose every inch in front of them…You help me to feel safe and know all the while I’ve been so inquisitive….
I can’t go back cuz now I know how it feels to open up and breathe…In front of them…
wonkIwonzuckcabogt’nacI
Say it ain't so...